COUNT IT ALL JOY!

This past weekend I enjoyed a wonderful, relaxing "girls' weekend getaway" with the sweet ladies from my home church. We left Friday at about 1 pm and didn't return until late Saturday evening. We stayed in a nice hotel, ate great food, and shopped until we dropped. Over all it was an amazing weekend, however, I found myself really struggling with my attitude. The self-pity monster was raising her ugy head...and when I say ugly, I mean ugly!! Have you ever been around somebody who is filled with self-pity? It aint pretty!! I found myself wallowing in all the negative emotions that come with our territory right now...fear, loneliness, being overwhelmed, sadness, dread, etc, etc, etc. Now, I need to take time out for a sec...I am very excited about what God has called us to be a part of and I can't wait for what lies ahead, but there are definitely days when the devil and my own sinfulness win and I focus on the negative side of what we are about to do. I think, if we are honest with ourselves, we all have days like this. Anyway, this is the attitude I went to church with on Sunday morning...and, boy, was God waiting for me with a big switch!! Our Pastor, George Pirt, preached a message from James 1. I know he said a lot of things at the beginning of the sermon but it wasn't until about the last 10 mins that God really got a hold of my heart. He started preaching on counting it all joy...it being the trials we face in our lives. The longer he preached the more my heart broke. I began to realize I had stopped counting it all joy...ALL, not just the fun and exciting parts, but the painful, not so fun parts too!! Easier said than done, I know, but if God is telling us to do it then there must be a way, right? There is :) Being joyful is a choice we must make every day. I had been choosing self-pity over joy and it was making me miserable! While I had surrendered to go where God wanted me to go and follow my husband wherever He led, there was a small part of my heart that was becoming resentful over the upheaval happening in our lives, over the hurt it was causing. I had to confess that to the Lord before I could start counting it ALL joy!
Right at the end of the message Pastor said "Sometimes God needs to break us down so He can build us back up and use us." WOW! That hit home. Those of you who have been through something simillar to our situation probably can relate to this, I really do feel like I am being broken sometimes...my heart is breaking, my spirit is breaking, and it feels as though some friendships are breaking as people start to prepare for the change in leadership around the church. I love West Gate Baptist Church and I have loved every second that we have been allowed to serve here, so leaving is painful; but even in that pain God has a plan. He is spinning that potter's wheel and trying to mold me into the vessel that He needs me to be, for HIS glory. So, if I want this section of my vessel to be painted with bright, beautiful colors, I better start choosing to count it all joy...even the painful parts.

For WITH God??

Some of you may be asking how my blog received its name, so let me give you the lowdown. The day after Adam announced our life changing plans to me I woke up feeling a little unsettled (OK, so that was an understatement...I was a lot unsettled!!) For those of you who don't know me, I have slight OCD, lol. I like to be in charge, organized, and always working with a plan. My mind was already running 100 miles an hour trying to figure out how to pack for deputation, what kind of apartment we would have in Boston, how I would travel with three kids and home school, and give up control of just about everything and...I could go on and on! Finally, through the loud, anxious voice of my mind I heard God's still small voice calling me to spend some time with Him. So, I grabbed my Bible, sat in my favorite chair, and began to do my devotions. I was doing a Bible study at the time of women in the Bible, and "just happened" to be reading about Mary that day. As I began to read a passage that I have read countless times before God began to speak to my heart. The conversation went something like this...

God: "Think about Mary and how scared she must have been! I was asking her to trust me completely in a situation that seemed impossible. What I was asking her to do could have cost her greatly, even her life."

Me: "That's true Lord, she must have been terrified!"

God: "Don't you think she had questions and feelings of uncertainty? Don't you think she asked the question "Why me?"? Do you honestly think she was thrilled with the prospect of a possible stoning when Joseph found out what had happened to her?"

Me: "I guess I have never thought about it in that way because we know the end of the story."

God: "Keep reading."

So, I kept reading and I found out that Mary certainly did have questions for the angel. But then verse 37 arrives which seems to answer every question she has. "For WITH God nothing shall be impossible." That verse hit me so hard! After Mary heard the angel say these words her response is so sweet..."Be it unto me according to thy word." WOW!! What faith, what complete abandonment to the will of her Father! Conviction swept over me a I realized my sin...my lack of faith and sweet obedience. God made me realise that I don't need to have all the answers; I simply need to go WITH Him. Not running ahead or lagging behind, but WITH Him step by step, day by day, and only then will NOTHING be impossible!

So the journey begins...

Have you ever been in a place where everything around you seems to simply be perfect? Your comfortable and happy with your life and you don't think it could possibly get any better? Well, that's where our story begins. The last thing on my husband's mind (or mine for that matter) was leaving the ministry where we are currently serving. We adore our Pastor and his family, we love our church folk and the ministries we have with them, and we were settled in our home life. We were in our comfort zone! It was in the middle of this picturesque setting that God chose to move.
Our church was having a prayer revival back in October, 2011. My husband was sitting there minding his own business when all of a sudden God reminded him of a calling he had been given back in college...the call to one day start a church in the greater Boston area. That night we told our Pastor, through a broken heart and many tears, that it was time for us to fulfill that calling. So, in June of 2012 our family will be hitting the deputation trail. We are excited and scared all at the same time. It's never easy to leave your comfort zone, but I have learned that it is safer to be in the center of God's will than any other place on earth! I can not wait to see what God has in store for my family and to share those adventures here with you. I pray that this blog will be a blessing and an encouragement to all who read it as we daily go WITH God and expect the impossible!